In our monthly advice column, we invite students to ask all their burning questions and receive answers in next month’s issue.

How would you distance yourself from someone you know but don’t click with when they are in all of your classes? (Without hurting them and looking like a bitch)- Scared to be mean

Dear Scared to be mean,

Finding yourself in that situation can be tough but it’s important you navigate it with grace and to treat someone like how you would want to be treated. You’re going to want to be cordial but not necessarily friendly.Next, you’ll want to gradually spend less time with them. For example, lingering with someone after class can give the impression that you like spending time with them, hence that you’d like to be their friend. Similarly, if you happen to be engaged in conversation with them, remain within the bounds of school i.e don’t start discussing your personal life as this will also seem friendly. Another tip is to avoid sitting next to them in class but also change where you sit in class frequently enough so that it doesn’t come off as personal. 

How do you get yourself to actually follow through the homework you planned and scheduled for the week when you just can’t?- Procrastinating lazy girl

Dear Procrastinating lazy girl,

Your question touches a lot of different spheres like motivation, school success and self-discipline, what stands out to me from your question is the “just can’t”. First thing you have to do is figure out what’s stopping you from achieving what you have planned. Could it be that you’re unmotivated? Could it be that you’re simply too stressed? Are you going through something in your personal life that’s making it hard to focus? Once you figure out what’s getting you down, I advise that you lead with compassion. Being compassionate to yourself even when you’re not reaching your own expectations is so important. You’re more likely to accomplish what you want to accomplish when you feel good about yourself rather than when you’re beating yourself up. When we are over-critical of ourselves we tend to enter a loop of shame and dissatisfaction which is hard to escape. Within that cycle, it’s hard to gain motivation to do better once we’ve convinced ourselves that we’re not good enough. Moving forward, try to try to do things that make you feel good so that you are well enough to achieve your goals. For example, if you’re too stressed to focus, try going on a walk before sitting down to do your homework. 

Hi Plant Writers & Editors I need advice on how to reconnect with my parents’ culture. I used to live in their country when I was young but when we moved to Canada, they prioritized my learning of English and integrating with my school, so they didn’t talk to me in our native language anymore. Now I can’t read, write, or speak it , and my ability to even understand the language is getting worse. I’m so ashamed of this, that when they try to encourage me to speak the language, I refuse to do it. I took for granted how amazing it was to have a whole other language, culture, and country, and now I don’t have it anymore. How do I reconnect with my parents and their country? I’m too scared to tell them that I feel this way. – The only Monolingual at School

Dear the only Monolingual at School,

Immigration doesn’t make us disconnect from our country or culture, it simply changes that connection. While language is an important aspect of culture, there’s still so much more that makes you belong. For example, food, traditions, music, beliefs and values are other important aspects, try to remember all the other things you’ve learned from your culture aside language. Navigating your identity as an immigrant is complex, especially if you had to assimilate. In your question, it’s clear that you feel ashamed and embarrassed when trying to speak this language. I encourage you to ask yourself why? If people can learn languages that they have no cultural ties to, why can’t you learn a language you have a special relationship to? What’s wrong with that? (spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with it)  Another thing to note is that you have parents that are encouraging you *now* to learn it, don’t take that for granted! I’m sure they’d be delighted to help you on your journey. Practice makes perfect and you’ll never get better if you don’t try. You’ll make mistakes here and there but once you get the hang of it you’ll be so happy you made the effort. Plus living in a diverse city like Montreal it’s easier to find a diaspora community . You could visit some community centres, join clubs at school or elsewhere and eat at restaurants pertaining to your culture.

Dear Plant, Is it scummy/weird for a guy to try to date a girl (seriously) if he’s extremely broke and has no job? I’m lonely, but I also don’t want to seem like I’m offering nothing to the relationship… Please help- Lonely Broke Guy

Dear Lonely Broke Guy,

To ease your fears, no it’s not. If you can’t bring anything financially to the table that doesn’t mean you can’t bring your best self! If you’re lacking in funds then this is the time to let your creativity shine. Offer to cook dinner or organise a picnic while the weather is still nice. Put your foraging skills to use by looking on Facebook events for free things to do! Visit the Fine Arts museum since it’s free for people under 25 years old. Montreal is such a vibrant city with so many fun, free things to do if you know where to look. Ideally, you’d also date someone who understands that your financial situation isn’t what you’d like it to be but remember you also won’t be broke forever! Whoever you date will feel flattered that you took the time to plan and find something to please them while respecting your budget. On this note, I leave you with lyrics from Jennifer Lopez’s hit song “ Love don’t cost a thing “ to inspire you : All that matters is/That you treat me right.Give me all the things I need/That money can’t buy yeah […]Even if you were broke/My love don’t cost a thing”

How do I make friends as a first year?? – Freshman

Dear Freshman, 

Entering your first year of CEGEP is a pivotal moment in your life. Long gone are the strict regimes of high school and welcome to the new independence of higher education. You’ll make friends in this new environment by being open-minded and putting yourself out there! My first tip is to remember that everyone is as nervous as you are and as eager to make new friends as you are. If you’re shy, core classes are a good place to start new friendships since you know that you already have interests in common. Try to start a conversation with those sitting near you in class and actually listen to what they have to say. Remembering little details from your previous conversations will make people feel like you care! If you’re a bit more extroverted, student life at Dawson is bountiful, so don’t be afraid to join the plethora of clubs available or volunteer at school. 

How do I end the cycle of falling for emotionally unavailable people? – Garfield Lover

Dear Garfield Lover, 

We usually end up in cycles where we feel comfortable. If you’re finding yourself constantly falling for people who are emotionally unavailable it’s probably because you yourself are emotionally unavailable as well. Now that we’ve established that being your comfort zone, let’s dig deeper. There’s most likely a small part of you that is afraid to be vulnerable but you still desire romance so the go-to solution for your brain is to be involved with those who can satisfy your romance craving but won’t challenge your fear of vulnerability. To break the cycle, I suggest you talk to a mental health professional or discuss with trusted friends.