Emma Caspi

Voices Editor

Photo Via Annie Aboulian

Life has been very monotonous lately: wake up, go to school, go to work, go home and repeat. I am a creature of habit and often let myself drift into autopilot– the state where my actions require no real thought or consideration. Sometimes, falling out of this state, I am forced to acknowledge all my surroundings, movements, feelings, etc. This acknowledgement is like when you’re reading a book and realize you missed the last 10 pages because you were not paying attention, too busy thinking about what you could be doing instead. Reading back the pages, you recognize that the text is actually quite informative and interesting. Although this phenomenon is nothing new, social media has called it the act of “romanticizing life.” 

Without a doubt, noticing and appreciating routine and mundane aspects of our lives is uplifting and motivating, helping us break out of tireless monotony. However, the wholesome intent behind romanticization has been lost in translation after being circulated around social media too many times. Back to the book analogy, romanticizing life has been associated with those thoughts of what could be, not the actual act of reading. Rather than appreciating life’s banalities, a romanticized life has been distorted to mean applying a veil, so to speak, to only see what one wants or expects, not what is. 

For instance, mental health issues are often misrepresented in the media as quirky personality traits, thus downplaying their severity. Recently, intrusive thoughts have been grossly distorted and misrepresented. According to Harvard Health Publishing, intrusive thoughts often result from obsessive-compulsive disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder, can be triggered by stress or anxiety, and mainly present as distressing, strange and uncontrollable thoughts that cause feelings of embarrassment, worry, fear and shame. They are therefore not synonymous with impulsive thoughts, which incite spontaneous action without considering the consequences. Because the media conflates the two, actual intrusive thoughts are stigmatized for being more than just impulsivity, thus creating even more shame for those who experience them. 

Additionally, romanticizing the past can make negative memories and past traumatic situations seem less intense, impactful and harmful upon retrospection. According to Psychology Today,  this pattern of thinking is a cognitive bias referred to as “rosy introspection.” Because memories become abstract and obscure over time, we focus on positive generalities, which, in turn, minimizes or completely negates the unpleasant aspects of our past. “Rosy introspection” is insufficient in the long run as it simply covers the issue; the best way to find solutions for the present is to resolve past problems. 

Since romanticization is all about being in tune with ourselves and appreciating what we do have, it is quite ironic–but not unsurprising–that it has been transformed into a capitalist and materialistic practice. For instance, a 2024 BuzzFeed article, “If You’ve Decided To Start Romanticizing Your Life, These 49 Things Will Fit Right In With Your New Mindset,”  is clearly unconcerned with your well-being. Nothing says romanticizing life like Miracle-Gro plant food spikes, Capri Blue Volcano scent booster or the L’Oreal Paris rinse-out lamellar water treatment–the items BuzzFeed claims will enhance your life! A disclaimer clarifying that “BuzzFeed… may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links” is the nail in the coffin, conveying that–if it was not already obvious–the article has no true intention of helping its readers appreciate life.

This article feeds into the idea that we will never have enough, making us question what we do have and spiral into an endless cycle of dissatisfaction. In waiting for the next material object allegedly needed for one to acquire the perfect life, we pretend to lead an impeccable and desirable life. This is masking life, not romanticizing it. The Globe and Mail claims that feeling the constant need to pull meaning from the mundane borders on toxic positivity and makes imperfect experiences taboo. The Guardian similarly accounts for the pressure to abandon our realities for a more aesthetic, exciting, fulfilling, creative, etc., life after confronting the dull aspects of our current lives. 

After in-depth research on the true purpose of romanticizing life, I can tell you for certain what is not the purpose: romanticizing life is not about shaming and invalidating the “undesirable” parts of yourself, buying items that will supposedly enhance your life, or feeling bad that you’re not perpetually happy-go-lucky. Romanticizing life is meant to counteract the very notion that we must always be busy,  lively, interesting or creative. Our lives will inevitably be filled with mundane moments. The practice of romanticizing our lives pushes us to stop waiting for the extraordinary and embrace the here and now, regardless of how ordinary or wonted.