Via Freepix

Alaa Ettaouth

Staff Writer

As a child and pre-teen navigating primary school and strong emotions, I must admit that I have often found myself in various situations of conflict. I was always the first one to defend someone being bullied, especially if the one tormenting the other was a boy… Teachers had to get involved and it often resulted in us having to forcefully apologize to each other even if, for my developing brain, it did not make sense. I was so angry at that boy that I kept my arms crossed with an infuriated look, not to intimidate him, but as a translation of my sentiment towards this injustice. Adults trying to resolve the conflict kept telling me to uncross my arms or to be more open to the discussion. It stuck with me, « Décroise tes bras, Alaa! ». Even as a child, I deeply felt this emotion of anger because “Boys will be boys” or “He didn’t mean to hurt them!” was always the accepted conclusion to a problem involving a boy, but my irritation was unjustifiable and never to be seen. As we, women, grow into adolescence and adulthood, the “anger” does not diminish; it scatters into parts soon to be transposed into protestations and fights against injustice. Naturally, a question arises: why is men’s anger so accepted while women’s anger is hidden or even shamed?
  

What is Anger?

Firstly, let us define what anger is in the scientific and chemical sense of the term. According to the American Psychological Association, anger is “an emotion characterized by tension and hostility arising from frustration, real or imagined injury by another, or perceived injustice”. It can be approached with two distinct reactions: the first is to eliminate the object of the anger (with a determined or somehow calculated action) or the second is to merely express the emotion like swearing or hitting something. Anger is an emotion that humans, since the beginning of time, lived with. As explained by Dr. Dimitrium in the article What Happens in Your Brain When You’re Angry, According to Psychology, when faced with a situation that threatens us, our brain runs differently, and our body reacts to these intense feelings. Even today, our “fight or flight” response activates the same way it did when prehistoric men were face to face with a mammoth. Our prefrontal cortex, which is in charge of rational thinking, suppresses itself making it difficult to form educated decisions.

However, in our modern society, the word “anger” is often used to describe people who challenge the status-quo, who go against powerful entities or established systems of belief, in ways seen as unconventional or “intense” by the general population. It is becoming increasingly normalized. Indeed, as politics are more and more polarized, as the price of living increases without the salaries following, as injustice is heavily denounced, and the access to platforms to express opinions and share opinions to the world grows, the population need to cope with these overwhelming conditions which results in a general sentiment of anger and hostility. Fighting for causes like women’s rights, intersectionality, or abortion, that are often politically diverted to push controversial narratives, makes those advocating for them at risk of being seen as too “hysterical” or to be unfairly discredited. This is a problem particularly when it’s women challenging the norms on big stages. It brings this question about double standards: if anger is so present in our society, why are women more shamed for feeling it and acting on it then men are?

How do men and women experience anger differently?

To answer the previous question, it is essential to further understand how the expression of anger or the mere feeling of it differs for men and women. The most common and widespread explanation is that  women are simply more emotional than men. Well, this preconceived idea is false. Ryan Martin Ph.D., a researcher specialized in anger, explains in “Are Men Angrier Than Women?” on Psychology Today that both sexes feel anger at the same rates. Therefore, the important distinction to make is that men tend to externalize their anger, engaging in violent and aggressive actions, while women are taught to internalize it and hide it because, for women, expressing anger comes with consequences on how we perceive them and treat them. In a 2008 study conducted by Brescoll & Uhlmann, participants were asked to evaluate people doing a job interview where some of the candidates became emotional, whether it was sadness or anger, and to guess what social status they had, their salary and the level of competence they had. Surprise, surprise: participants attributed the lowest social status, salary, and expertise to women who got emotional in opposition to not only men who became angry but also to “angry-less” women. In addition, partakers of the study also attributed the source of the anger to external sources for men. For angry women, though, the anger was linked to their personality.

Associating women being angry with being incompetent not only affects them in the workplace, like shown in this study, but also influences how we treat women’s anger in our society and how we approach their concerns. Because the young “angry girls” of today deserve to keep their arms crossed if they want to and to finally raise their voices without society diminishing them.