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Sabrina Coccimiglio

Copy Editor

Society. It’s the thing that subconsciously controls our every move. It is the organism of people that influences our decisions, thoughts, desires, judgments, etc. The more aware you become of it, the more it takes control of you. The more you wish you could mimic the behaviours and attitudes of others. The more societal pressures control you. Morph you. Until you are nothing like the young child you once were.

This feeling that consumes the thoughts of teenagers like you and me is called conformity.

It’s inevitable. The moment you realize you are perceivable, you start wanting to be the version of yourself that other people enjoy. It’s not something new either. As sociologist George Herbert Mead describes, it’s our response to interactions with others that shape us into becoming who we are. Naturally, we want to survive in a world that revolves around connection. When we learn a common language or adopt habits from family and friends, it is our normal response to the influences that surround us.

While natural, it can also feel limiting, especially when you become used to depending on others to develop your own sense of self. It may feel like a part of you is disappearing to please others. And it’s honestly exhausting feeling like being you just isn’t good enough. You find yourself trying to secretly hide things you like because you know if you mention them, you’ll be judged. Or, you might have a hidden “guilty” pleasure artist, song, or hobby that you keep to yourself in fear of ridicule. Sometimes, existing feels more like a chore that would be easier if you tried to do it like everyone else.

In modern society, however, we’ve seen an emphasis on finding individuality in a world of conformity. When people search for individuality, what we’re actually searching for is a way to escape the influence of society. In today’s super-saturated world filled with media, everything starts to merge together: trends can take over in days, people begin to sound the same, or even act in similar ways. And to escape this all, we crave a sense of self that sets us apart from others.  

But what if trying so hard to be different makes us lose all sense of self?

The rising phenomenon of the “niche” seems to be taking over. It’s like a buzzword of sorts, filled with the connotation that what you like is “underground.” And, while it’s perfectly normal and possible to have likes that aren’t mainstream, the word can be limiting. It suggests that being “basic” is the less cool alternative. Ultimately, we feel pressured to find something that sets us apart. Doesn’t this sound quite familiar?

Yet again,

“it seems that societal pressures are still at work: whether it be to be unique or similar, we conform to society in one way or another.”

And while one thing may be “niche” with who you surround yourself with, it can also be an ordinary interest to another. It’s a double-edged sword; you may never be “niche” enough to some, but you may also be too different to others. And while being unique is celebrated, being too different makes you “weird.” Do we always just go back to conforming to the majority? Is the cycle never-ending? Just know you will never win.

This is strikingly apparent when hobbies, artists, songs (you name it) that were once considered “weird,” are what is “cool” today. For example, purchasing second-hand once carried an immense stigma. Yet today, 77% of adult Canadians own at least one second-hand item in the last year, according to CityNews Ottawa. People who were once judged for their niches are now seeing them be celebrated and adored. And this reveals a reality where individuality can be hated one day and accepted the next. It seems it is only acceptable when individuality reflects the shift in societal norms.

Ultimately, what is defined by society is out of our control. However, this does not mean that our own reaction to these trends is pre-determined. Rather than judge another for their own interests, give them the grace and understanding that you would wish for yourself.Regardless of trends, niches, or societal pressure, just know you are still a human being. We all are. Whether you like something that’s popular or underground, we’re all trying to discover our authentic selves. And, you really only have one life to make it happen.